Monday, February 14, 2011

Don't get Monster? Join the club...

Monster, Red Bull, 5 minute Energy Drink, et al, be warned: you are all full of crap. Literally, according to the American Medical Association.

Being old enough to wonder "what all the HooDoo is about Beber?" and, "Why are all the new bands called "Lady?" I can report on never drinking more than a sip of any of the endlessly growing punch bowl of energy drinks. I walk by them on my way to sign my paycheck over at the petroleum station, and wonder: "WTF? Why are people paying $4 for a shitty little fruit punch?"

Vindication is mine. The AMA has released a communication that echoes my unstated views. I mean, I WOULD HAVE come up with this stuff had I even like tried, you know?

All of the drinks tested had excessive levels of pollutants and contaminants, in addition to ridiculous levels of sugar and 2-3 more caffeine than regular soda. Not to mention the untested, unknown effect of beer-bonging creotine or whatever amino acid they are pushing. Careful, young monsters!

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